8:49 PM
Saturday, April 23, 2011
As i read thru the only memories you have left for me, tears started welling up my eyes.
How much i missed you, only myself know.
How much you missed me, only you will know.
This long senseless journey, which my heart brings me through.
A journey which is filled with love, happiness and...
Oh well, i should just keep the happy parts in memories.
the faith will lessen, love will fade.
After all, at least i had passed by your life and might or might not made a difference in yours, but you certainly have in mine.
No idea who would be reading this blog, but it doesn't matter anymore, i just feel like pouring out.
I'm glad that you are happy with your life now, at least i am not a obstacle to you anymore, free to do what you want.
I had love you before, but i believe it will be passe soon, i shall not define the soon.
Thank you Stranger, once the most important person in my life.
6:07 AM
Monday, March 14, 2011
No one stalks my blog anyway, i think i am the only one that stalks it. Hate it , love it, live with it.
5:28 AM
i found out that i haven been blogging since ages.
but i just feel like pouring all this out.
1st- to my future
i have no idea what i should do and what lies in my life ahead, what god had plan for me.
It started me thinking on what i should do, i am like a glass bottle, always emptied.
I know its not very alright with me thinking this way, i am sort of wanting to go NS, with at least 2 years of thinking through what i would want in life, what i want to do in the future. Hence, i has this mindset of going for NS.(army,navy, air force ,police) My mum wants me to get a degree as it would give me better prospects in the future. I too agree with her decision, as any government paying job would pay more to a degree holder than a diploma holder.
But Navy currently has this thing, where you sign on for 3yrs for females, 5yrs for males. The government would start paying a mthly salary of 1.8k and abv, might be able to get sponsorship for degree
All and all, i think it would give me a lengthen deadline, to decide on what degree course to take and what job in the future.
As a Capricorn, i agree that i am rather materialistic, money gives me security.Navy seems to understand what i want in that point of time.
2nd- to my health
I have recently injured my ankle, twisting it while running for a bus. It came to me as me being too careless. As April(anonymous colleague) have said, "Girls grow old very fast,before you know it, you will see the signs showing"
How much more can i be careless? with all this carelessness, i might do great damage to my health. I am not young anymore, how can i afford to fall and row , sprain my joints, fall on my bones. Its time i should learn how to be more cautious and careful.
3rd- to my family
I have been having dreams of my family members leaving, it starts to leave me in fear.
After all this nightmare, i do not already know where i could find comfort.
Everyone seems so distant, parents are so busy with their job and their personal activities, Siblings are rather concern about their own future and hobbies.
I am really afraid that i would lose all of you, to stuff that aren't as important in my knowledge.
4th-to my boyfriend
I don't know if you would be reading this, or anyone would, but i just feel like pouring out.
I know you have been trying to teach me how to grow up, i know i still am not the girl that you see my potential in anymore, i am as stubborn as a ox.
i know that you have been having conflicts within your heart and mind. About being a boyfriend and being yourself. I am trying to help, but it seems like you do not want me to be there for you anymore. Remember us saying that we will help each other and to be there for each other? This seems like one-sided to me.
I know that you are intolerant to some of my attitudes, actions and mindset. But there is no one that is so perfect, people suit to each other, people give and take.
I don't know if i am wrong to start pampering you with gifts and love, it seems like you aren't receiving very well.
Maybe its a wrong move, i should never have started pampering you, letting you go your way.
I don't want to force you to make decisions, i don't want to force you to do stuff that you do not like, but it feels to me that you just take it that way, that its alright for you to do things your way.
I too wished that you would be more understanding, loving and more reliable. Its not wrong to have expectations of your partner, but it seems to me like its all about your expectations of me and you are not withstanding my expectations of you, making me feel small.
I wished i could be more confident about myself, but with all the criticism from you, i haven yet figure how to manage it.
You seem like a unmatched puzzle piece, always wanting me to find out more about you, but does not give me a channel to understand you better.
All in all, i am still rather happy that you still took your role as a boyfriend, bringing me to the doctor, coming to fetch me after work, cuddle me to sleep and accompany me a little more.
All this sums up my I HATE YOU and LOVE YOU at the same time theory.
To whom it may concern, i apologise for the extremely long post
2:41 AM
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Its Sunday today.
Friday was project day
Saturday was work day
Sunday is project+ Study day
So i haven been doing any other things else.
left 1 month before PDD submission
i tensed up after feeling stress
haven meet bebe this weekend.
wasn't stayover-ing too.
cos he wanted to watch soccer and i wanted to do my assignment+study+projects
so, ya, i missed him
i missed my gfs , close friends and lei
time was always not enough
people always say, slow down and you can truly appreciate things,people and place
but where do i get the time to slow down.
IN MY WORLD, everything moves faster than it supposed to.
11:19 PM
Monday, June 21, 2010
19June2010,saturday
we went to the beach at sentosa, dennis's daddy drove us there!!
before boarding dennis's papa's , we played hide & seek at vivo, not intentionally
suntanned,played ball, build sand-houses, eat at SILOSO
after that we wanted to hide her "surprise" from her!
so we said that we were meeting wanling at mahatten at PS
Dennis's friends were there waiting=x
we had seafood platter, both fried and grilled!!
it was too much we couldnt finish ANW!
dennis got a whole loots of paul frank after that, with copy-cat bracelets and scheduler
then we went home.
i went to play pool with sam,felix and vin
i PAWNED alvin tsang=DD*BIG smiley*(i am not joker)
but felix PAWNED me=[
we had fun and then we went mac to munch
someone jiang wo huai hua!!!=[
Happy belated birthday DENNIS!!
LOLOLOLS that ended the day!
pics of sentosa here->
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514800557#!/album.php?aid=246966&id=514800557&ref=mf20JUNE2010,sunday
wanted to go running with vin and sam, but woke up late+bad weather
ended up, me and vin went to gymgym,
my 1st time in though!
wanted to puke and faint and i dunno what, that whats happen when u do not have good physical=X
then we went home and then went out to play bball again,
there was no tsangball cos vin had no pump or needle or duno what
end up vin friends was at the court, so we could borrow 1=D
he played with me for awhile and ended up playing with his friends.
then i was playing with the ball and myself till the game breaks. aaaannnnddd it starts again..
then i went to buy our dinner and drinks and snacks and sweets and manymany.
watched my valentine day, the movie was nice but rather messy, as in there was so many stories, nono, maybe i cant differenciate between the whites!
i wanted to go home after that, but when the movie ends, its already 11.so i slept over again
21JUNE2010,monday
woke up early at vin hse to go home, travelled with him, he was wearing civilian clothes, so can hold hands=DD
then i went home to sleep!!
slept for an hour, had to go meet my grp mates le.
i didnt know one fullerton was nearer to raffles place(i always took bus)
i had a long walk finding my way through raffles place to fullerton.
i was late for an hour, UNCLE august was later=X
when i reach STARBUCKS, i craves for cheesecake, but it was so ex. at least $6.30 to buy a piece.
ended up buying some black pepper puff
we did some rubbish work,anything stressful was rubbish!
fi was uuper stress too~!! she went to smoke like dunno how many times
aft tt we went to mahatten to eat(due to UNCLE august)
i thought i and yx was scammed, uncle august too, paid extra $8bucks for prawns and no set meal.the service sucky too, serving main course before the appetiser and w/out water.
end up fi had to eat the partially warm main course 1st.our portion wa smaller than usual.
then YX had to go off=[ sadded!!!
we then 'marched' to the busstop and take the bus to katong.
Ailyn was crazily running towards her idol-ed car that we saw!! funny sight!
we went making fun of UNCLE august, hahaha, he is a good target!!
we went to teo heng to sing k, it was DAMN CHEAP, i feel that last time go kbox , i was scammed la!!
fi voice is OMGSOMGSOMGS! nice(the real singer behind the screen)
end up me and ailyn sang alot alot, we were the opera singers, the tone deafs, the chinese singer.
Uncle august voice also quite nice, but he like go there see us sing only,he suaned me quite a fair bit ok!!!
fi went off half an hour earlier, we wil miss her!
then we all went home(poor me and august, live so far away)
LOLOLOLS
22JUNE2010,tuesday
woke up earlier than usual to bake lagsagna for vin, dric and me
haven eat yet, hope it will be yumyum!
would be passing him his portion later, but it wouldnt be so nice anymore!!
the rain today is like up and down!worse than girls PMS!haha!
Marcus gave me cheesecake! yumyum!!the 3M is back!!
23JUNE2010,wednesdaywoke up later than usual,
went to wash the clothes, cook food, talk, did abit of schoolwork.
then was talking to JSJR, damn ass, everything also dunwan! DUMBASS!!
then went to prep for clubbing luhh
went to clubb with ALICIA and her friends,JEANNE & MICHELLE
we dance dance dance, shake shake shake, drink drink drink.
then there was this 2 malay girls, so funny, i think they r drunk luh, they keep pulling us to the podium the "stage" there, end up we dance there too!! damn funny
the malay/indian girl keep touching us too, i feel so les=(
the DJ played jai-ho, i was dancing indian dance there! woohoo! funny!!
then nobody too! we were alr off mood, just shake abit only!!
then me and michelle went to have our last damn, we shake damn hard!=x
then we got headache right after that!! LOLOLOL! serves us right!
there, her other friend justin and wenqi's bro was there with their friends,
ngahh!! then wenqi's bro send us to river valley, we had pratas, the pratas is super EX!
like $1per norm piece and $1.80per egg prata. but we ate and i laughed at him, he-la-rious..he keep dropping his prata=X
then i cabbed home,although with 50% surcharge, the cabbing was $10 bucks(baby said he will spon me), i was home within 10mins!
for photos of clubbing->
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514800557#!/album.php?aid=220015&id=599408664&ref=mf
9:54 PM
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Will Wee Wee is sipping on Apple Lipton Tea.
Will Wee Wee is trying to redo her Autodesk Revit
Will Wee Wee is trying to get away from Facebook
Will Wee Wee is missing her Alvin Tsang
Will Wee Wee is wishing Goh Yi Lei to come back real soon
Will Wee Wee want to get over and done with the exam
Will Wee Wee wants to go running with cheryl
Will Wee Wee needs to work to earn more money
Will Wee Wee knows many birthdays are coming
Will Wee Wee feels like its the holiday
Will Wee Wee needs to get her hair trimmed
Will Wee Wee needs to pack up her room
Will Wee Wee needs to wash all her clothes
RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:57 AM
Sunday, May 9, 2010
life felt harsher than before..
school seems
repetitious..
something is missing...
i had never thought so...
its just the alphabet "U"
out of the many alphabet, only "I", "N", "U" seems to be in BOLD
alright, just admit it, i miss u...
School wise, it is just a routine,the five steps
wake-up
travel-to-school
copy-notes
go-home
do-assignments
Work wise, it is also just a routine,the four steps
wake-up
travel-to-work
do-the-job
go-home
Relationship wise, he goes to NS
which leaves me hanging out here alone:(
Friends wise, most of them has other commitments
which leaves me talking to myself more than ever:(
Family wise, all of them have stuff to do and to cater to
means i am sort of alone:(
so, tell me, what can i blog about?
give me a clue, show me a cue
tell me what i should do?
BLOODY HELL, get a life!
